Joe the Plumber was a plant by the Republicans.

I’m just sayin’…listen to his post debate interview and decide for yerselves.

I posted this about three years ago when I had my old “What in the Blue Hell?” blog.  I was reminded of this post after hearing the ignorant shit coming from the Republican supporters of McCain and Palin at recent rallies.  Enjoy:

Over the last year or so, my morning MAX ride has provided many moments of entertainment. People become familiar, yet no one really talks to each other. We seem to have an unspoken agreement that the morning commute is not the best time to try to buddy up.

There is one woman who has been a particular source of annoyance. We’ll call her Jane.

Jane is a recovering heroin and meth addict. I know this because she shared her story with a particularly unhappy commuter one morning. She is constantly fidgeting, twitching, and jumping from seat to seat. She knows all the other folks in various recovery groups and makes a very definite effort to greet each one, very loudly, when they pop in. If she sees someone reading a book she likes, she’ll bounce right up to them and start babbling on about her interests in the subject du-jour.

Knitting seems to be a popular activity with the Gresham crowd riding in, and Jane is the first to hand out contact information to the knitters just in case they decide to start selling their crafts.

One of Jane’s more annoying habits involves her bible. Jane is in a recovery group that helps people find the love of Jesus in their hearts in order to battle their addiction. Part of Jane’s recovery involves meeting with prayer groups to ask for direction and blessings on just about every single thing that could potentially happen to her in a single day. To remind her of her faith Jane wears a little Jesus-fish ring on her left thumb, which she uses to fidget the pages of her bible while she’s attempting to read through the Psalms. She seems to be working on the 32nd Psalm right now, and probably has been for the last six months. Jane is not a “Jesus Freak”. She’s my little Jesus Tweak.

Jane’s bible reading isn’t the annoying part of this story. What is annoying is Jane’s absolute fascination with the zipper that closes her bible. She’ll unzip it, flip through some pages, and zip it back…rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat. She’ll do this several times in a 25-minute span.

She’ll inevitably get distracted when someone she remembers from a meeting two years ago walks by. She’ll zip the good book shut, yell out “HEY! I’m Jane, pray for me! I’m going to be alone this weekend!” The intended prayer giver often takes pause, looks at her, nods and tries to escape but Jane zips her bible shut and bounces off after her long lost crutch.

Another part of Jane’s recovery involves attending a trade school. She’s trying to get an education so she can support herself and become a contributing member of society. Kudos to her. I think that’s just great. Guess what she’s learning at school?

Hairdressing.

Yes, she gets to handle sharp objects around others. The Jesus Tweak is learning to cut hair. This is absolutely frightening to me. Jane seems to have the attention span of a goldfish. Can someone with that level of instability really be expected to succeed with scissors?

There are many other trades she could have selected, and the church that she is involved with could have guided her along a more appropriate path it would seem.

This leads me to the conclusion that, as many of us have complained for years now, churches are not fully qualified to provide everything that a person needs to “kick the habit” and fully recover. The funds that our President has allocated for “faith-based” programs needs to be channeled back into the proper medical and counseling agencies which are trained and certified to do this type of work. Their schedules for treatment do not involve anything related to actual medical treatment and counseling. They have become centers for conversion of the weak and feeble-minded.

This is not to say that all faith-based programs are worthless. Many offer shelter and counseling to abused women and children, food to the poor and sick, and services for the elderly. These are wonderful programs and I have no problem with government money going to them. When these programs begin to offer more complicated services, they begin replacing traditional medical treatments with faith and religion…replacing one addiction for another.

Unfortunately, even some medical options for treatment are not that great. Heroin addicts become addicted to methadone in many cases. They have to go into treatment to get over their addiction to their treatment.

I suppose, in the end, if Jane wants someone to pray for her, that’s not a bad thing. Maybe we can convince her pray for guidance for a new career choice…

In my recent excursions to the odd universe known as the Mall, I learned of a new threat to our personal security and safety.  In fact, a threat to our very lives.  This threat is right in front of you every time you enter most malls, yet you would never be suspicious of it.  This threat has made it extremely dangerous and quite impossible to even simply “window shop”.

My friends, the threat I speak of is named…the Kiosk.  These kiosks manage to control the minds of humans, convincing them to approach others and try to bring them into the collective.  It doesn’t matter what the product is that the kiosk is trying to tempt you with.  If you are a male wiht a full head of hair, a kiosk offering wigs for women will force it’s minion to approach you with a “may I ask you a question, Sir?”  These kiosks line themselves up along the corridors, halls, and even the most remote corners of a mall.  At every turn, you can see gnarled teeth and blank stares as you dodge each attack.  Walking from one store to another is like running a marathon through deep water, crushed glass at the bottom cutting your feet while piranna bit voraciously nibble on your flesh.

How did I discover this threat?  I was approached just the other day by a woman under the control of a make-up cart.  A few feet further, I was approached by a woman who’s kiosk was trying to bait humans with lavender-scented oils and smelly things.

The Kiosk cares NOT who approaches it, it simply needs to feed - at any costs.  BE AWARE of this threat, lying in wait for you at your local retail establishment.  Thank the GODDESS for online shopping!

So, sitting here tonight, my husband makes an interesting observation. This observation is based on the following clip of John McCain - after the Biden/Palin debate last Thursday.  The hubby remarked at how similar McCain’s “huh?  HUH?” grunts are to the Penguin as portrayed by Danny DeVito.  Watch the clip:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u01uL6B4nyw[/youtube]

I can just imagine it:  John McCain positively DROOLING over photos of Palin after being told that his she was the only means to get him into office.  I can only imagine the scene taking place just as it did with Mr. Cobblepot, in approaching Catwoman - ala Batman Returns.

http://de.youtube.com/watch?v=_BMfTGzcpMs

Oh, and as Bill O’Reilley from Faux News might say, “I’ve got a loofah you can borrow.”

School is back in session this week.  I’m working on degree classes right now, with the goal of jumping back into the sign language interpreting program this spring.  I’ve had some great chats with the instructors in the program who’re supportive and excited to see me coming back around.  One of my favorite instructors quit, which is disappointing.  I’ll miss him for sure.

One class I am taking is a public speaking class.  I think I’m actually looking forward to it.  The instructor seems very into what she does but is very down-to-earth.  Ironically, it is right next door to the room where sign language instruction takes place.  I can’t get away.

I’m also taking a computer skills class - required for the AA degree here at the community college.  I’m actually doing it online since I’m quite comfy with my knowledge in this subject.

Algebra still sucks.

We’re taking off tomorrow morning for the middle of Oregon with some friends for a “camping” weekend of our own.  I’ll be out of cell range for 4 entire days, which also means no internets.  I think I will enjoy it immensely.  I’ll have to take my homework with me, I fear, since we won’t be back until late Monday.

That’s all for now.  See ya next week.

This is a test of the public broadcasting system on the ‘tubes.

Test two with photo from WordPress to LJ

I’m creating my own blog site, since I now own my own part of the intertubes…

This is a test post from the WordPress app.

In all my sexy goodness..

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