Ya freakin’ cow! This is March…MARCH!!! Snow is NOT supposed to fall on me after Daylight Savings Time. Yeah, yeah, yeah…technically it started BEFORE 2:00 a.m. on Sunday, but STILL.

What’s that? You say it’s OUR fault that the weather is screwing up all over the place? Because of something called global warming?

Shows what you know! If it were global “warming”, then why is it colder than usual? HUH???

It’s time for you to take responsibility for your own actions, lady. It’s your fault that we’ve become addicted to the oil that YOU produce. It is YOUR fault that you made the ore that we turn into steel to make big cars and trucks to use that oil. It is YOUR fault for making coal so dirty to burn for electricity. Why can’t you make more trees to filter out all this stuff? Get your shit together, for cryin’ out loud!

Oh, blah blah blah…we HAVE to cut the trees because we have to build stuff, and stock our giant “do it yourself” warehouses full of potential building materials which we may never ever use. I don’t want to be told I have to wait for wood if I have a project that I want to do right now! It can’t wait! I’m too busy.

Buck up, little lady Earth. Time for YOU to step up for a change. We can’t do it all, ya know.

I’m off to Costco to buy bulk packages of pens and tooth paste. I’ll take the Super SUV today, since I might need the room for a Costco-sized tub of “I Can’t Believe it’s Not Butter.” I have a coupon.